Some of the biggest challenges my husband, Eric and I have faced in marriage are the different ways that we think. Sometimes, we Christians take that whole two become one thing way too far. We still have different ways of thinking and doing things. We do not share the same brain!
Early on, our biggest fights were trying to convince one another to think the way we think. It never worked. Man, do the two of us have entire different thought processes. Sometimes we thought God surely got His wires crossed putting us together. Our entire conversations were wrapped up like we had each other on trial. We would present our case and all of the reasons that the way we were thinking about something was the RIGHT way. The problem with this method was it was pitting us against one another. We were on opposite teams, not the same team.
The argument would continue until someone relented and pretended to agree. Of course, we really didn’t agree. We just realized our spouse was not as well informed in this particular area and they couldn’t help that we were slightly superior to them on this matter 😉 Obviously, that kind of pride didn’t help either.
It took quite some time and a lot of help from the Holy Spirit, but we realized that God didn’t bring us together because we are alike. He didn’t bring us together because we think alike or we do thinks alike. He brought us together because of our differences. Joined together, we bring about so many more ideas and different ways of doing things. We learned we didn’t have to think alike, we just had to think together.
It went from us being on different teams trying to change each other’s thought processes to being on the same team coming together in unity. Marriage isn’t about becoming carbon copies of one another.
There are still MANY things my husband does today that I think “if he just would do this my way, his life would be easier.” I know there are MANY things I do that he thinks the same way about. But now, it doesn’t bother us. In fact, I giggle about it sometimes. I can truly celebrate the unique way God made Eric and how he has is own way of doing things. God knew we would need each other. He knew we would bring balance to one another and together we could accomplish many things. It is not the ways we are alike that help us accomplish great things, it is in the ways we are together.
I challenge you to ask the Holy Spirit to show you the ways you are trying to make your spouse think like you, act like you or do things like you. Pray that God would help you focus on being together with your spouse instead of being alike.
Start celebrating the differences and think together!