We are in the middle of the “Fresh Air” series at church right now. This week’s message was about slowing down. I have been trying to do this all summer. If you read my blog posts much, you will know that adjusting my priorities is a continuous struggle in my life.
Most of the time I sit at the table with my Day Designer and start removing things from my schedule. I track my week and see what all I am spending my time doing so I can make changes that are needed. I am pretty good at this, I can get it under control. Somehow, I always seem to find my mind start filling with crazy thoughts and ideas.
My life is full. I am married to a pastor, which is a full time gig all on its own. I work one day a week in our church office. I lead Sisterhood, our version of Women’s Ministry. I sing sometimes, I speak sometimes. I write and paint. I have a 13 year old athlete. Plus, I love the traditional role of keeping our home running smoothly and creating warm, loving and yummy nights around the dinner table. I LOVE my life. It is not always easy, but I truly love it.
However, my soul sometimes gets restless and I find myself looking for more. Most of the time, I don’t know what “more” even looks like, I am just aimlessly searching for it. I let the whispers of the enemy that say, “You are not making a difference, you are not doing enough, you should be doing something else, why don’t you try this, why don’t you try that, get another job, go back to school, volunteer for this,” get to me. I will begin trying to get more involved with certain things as I am convinced that what I am doing is not as important as what others do. I know in my heart this isn’t true, I can feel the gentle pull of the Holy Spirit warning me to slow down. I even feel guilty about being blessed enough to live this awesome life and I start trying to work for it even harder. Then, I end up with an overwhelmed schedule and a soul that is less fulfilled, not more. I jump out of my sweet spot and life gets sour.
Why has this been a continual struggle for me? It is because most of the time I sit down to adjust my schedule, but that is not what really needs adjusting. Slowing down has to start with my heart and not my schedule. God doesn’t want me to just work on my time slots, He wants to transform my heart. My full schedule is just a symptom of an issue in my heart. Just like taking a cough medicine when you have a cold will stop the cough, but not heal the cold; adjusting my schedule will fix the symptom for a while but will not heal my struggle.
I don’t know what your struggle is.
Maybe you are:
Living life to be loved instead of loving, comparing yourself to others, living in pride and always thinking you should have and be more, letting arrogance lead you instead of conviction, looking for ways to fill your insecurities or just trying to prove something.
Whatever it is, you will not be able to truly slow down until you deal with your heart. I encourage you to hush the rush that is trying to push you today. Slow down long enough to hear the voice of God in your life.
We all go through sour patches in life, but God has a sweet spot for you. Let’s work on our heart so we can live the life He as for us and quit aimlessly searching for “more”. The most important thing you can do today is pay attention to God.