Minefields, Mood Swings and Teens

Do you sometimes get tempted to think you have it all figured out?? Well, the quickest way to have that big ole bubble busted is to try raising a 13 year old boy! Man, just as soon as I think I have this kid figured out, it all changes. Make no mistake, I have one great kid!! He loves God, loves church, plays sports, does well in school and is just a genuinely good kid. So, what is my problem you ask?? HE IS 13 and sometimes makes me want to say ugly words!

I know this is an incredibly important time in his life and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t feel like I am completely messing him up! Sometimes I feel like, “well that was it, he is going to be scarred for life.”  Is it wrong to pray that God erases things from your kids’ memory?? Just kidding, kind of.

So recently we had one of those tricky days where I felt like I was navigating through a heavily armed minefield of a 13 year old’s mood swings. This takes ninja like skills! The whole time I was trying to coach him, teach him, discipline him ( at least those were my intentions)  and all of the things that moms do. All of a sudden instead of navigating through the minefield, I realized I had become the drill sergeant giving the orders of which way for him to march through the minefield. We were both getting blown to smithereens.

I retreated to my office at home and decided quickly that I needed a minute with Jesus.  I opened up my Bible to Proverbs 22:6, which says “Direct your children onto the right path,and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

I was instantly convicted. At 13 I should not be jumping into the minefield with him and becoming his drill sergeant. I should be his instructor directing him to the right path. The scripture does not say to jump on to the path and and move everything out of his way so that he has no problems. It doesn’t say to handcuff him to the path so he doesn’t get off it, it doesn’t say to tell him every single step to take. It simply says to direct him on to the right path. He has to walk it on his own.  Instead of jumping in the minefield, I should of have just said, “Son, you have jumped into a battlefield and it is the wrong path. Get yourself where you need to be and let me know when you are there.” THE END. I blew it. But, now that I have some clear direction from God’s word, some of the pressure is off. My husband and I are not raising this kid alone, God is in control. I am going to do my part in the natural and direct our son, God will do his part supernaturally and take care of him in ways I can’t.  Sometimes, mamas jus need to step out of the way and let kids live a little. They have to learn to deal with their emotions and issues without us intervening all of the time.

I am hanging up my sergeant stripes and stepping back into the position of mom, director to the right path.

2 thoughts

  1. You are so right! Somrimes we do want to do the Holy Spirit’s job. Our childre hear from God, especially when we get quiet.

  2. Even though i’m still in a world of Toddler, this definitely hit home! Having Jeremy home for the holidays has given me time to not always be the “bad guy” and I realize how easy I lose my patience! And how quickly they straighten up when daddy says one little word. It’s made me see that I’m trying to be both parents while he is at work but there are just somethings they won’t recieve from me the way they do from dad. I get to relax a little honestly, there’s not so much pressure to try and make them “soldiers” in a way. My job is to discipline with love and make them gentlemen, it’s my husbands job to make them a man.

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