Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife


Well, this blog post may be a little shocking, but I feel the need to confess some things to you! You see, I realize that God has given me a great influence over people. I am thankful for that and very mindful of it. However, as I post blogs and encouraging things on facebook, I never want people to think that I think I have it all together, because I do not!! I am just like any other woman who struggles to keep her family life, social life and career together. However, I am extremely open to change and to becoming the best that I can be. So, I read and try to be poured into as much as possible so I can pour out. But, I thought it may be fun to let you in on some secrets from the Pastor’s wife!! Remember people… GRACE!

First of all, the term Pastor’s wife in itself can drive some people crazy! It is a position in itself. Yet, it’s not if you don’t want it to be.  And then, what about if you are one of those women who are called to be on staff and serve alongside your husband as co-pastor. What are you then? Blah. It can be really confusing. Identity is something most every pastor’s wife friend of mine struggles with. To be honest, I do as well. I have realized that God called me into the ministry. I don’t have to put a label on it. God gave me influence over people and an ability to communicate His word.  Whatever kind of make- up you want to put on that, really doesn’t matter. I have finally gotten to a place where I am confident in who I am no matter how others want to label me.  But, this is a battle that does pop up often in my life! My roles as wife, mom, pastor’s wife, co-pastor, youth pastor, church member… they all really just bleed into this…..    Toni, Ambassador of Christ.  Same as you!

Confession #2 / Sometimes, I feel like a single person on Sundays.  Don’t get me wrong, Sundays are my favorite day of the week! I adore coming to the House, getting to see everyone, worshipping together, hearing my husband preach and seeing people’s lives changes.  But, picture this…  My husband and I drive separately ( there is no way I could leave the house as early as he does.) I see him the same time everyone else does right before he goes on stage. We try to be in the lobby together to greet First Time Guests as they leave and we text each other before leaving church to be sure one of us has our son.  However, when we go to conferences, I love it!! We get to sit in church together like a regular family. It is an honor to sit on the front row married to the man delivering God’s word, but sometimes it is a lonely seat.

Confession #3 / I have to say no a lot. There are lot of things competing for my time and attention. Things that I would love, but, my family is the most important thing to me, so sometimes to protect my schedule, I have to say no. Most people are pretty understanding about that.  But what bothers me is that just b/c I have to say no a lot doesn’t mean I don’t want to be invited. There might possibly could be a chance that I could participate.

Confession #4 / I am naturally thin. People talk about how thin I am and I feel the need to defend it… weird I know! I will say something about my throat condition or whatever. Truth is, I eat cupcakes and milkshakes a lot, I rarely work out and I am just naturally thin. Sorry. There it is. And no, I don’t think I am too skinny and neither does my husband and his opinion is the only one that counts 😉 I HATE it when people tell me I need to gain weight. I don’t talk to you about your weight so some things just shouldn’t be said to me.  Tell your husband on the car ride home!

Confession #5 / It feels good to be recognized. No, I am not an ego addict by far, but I usually hear about how amazing my husband is (which he is), it is nice for people to let me know how I have impacted their lives as well.

Confession #6 / I am terrible at helping my son with homework. So glad our children’s pastor is a teacher!!

Confession #7 / I try to be superwoman. I fail miserably.

Confession #8 / I love clothes, shoes and purses! If I could get away with wearing leather pants, I would!

Confession#9 / I am an incredibly loving person, unless you talk about my husband or my son in a negative way. I don’t care if you are right!

Confession #10 / A lot of people know who I am, but few really know me.

Confession #11 / I sometimes need an attitude check b/c I get tired of sharing my husband with 1000+ other people.  Obviously that is not reality! My husband is great about putting his family first. Like I said, I need an attitude check!

Confession #12 / I have a problem trying to prove myself by taking on too much responsibility!

Confession #13 / I failed my first speech in college.

Confession #14 / I HATE sharing food. I don’t want to let anyone taste it, or take just a bite. Get your own bowl of ice cream!!!!


There you have it! I have issues! We all do! To help with those issues that we all have, I want to give away a book today. You see no matter what we do or how we do it, we all have a calling and a purpose. The way to grow is to study God’s word and allow it to change you. I have come a long way, but I have a long way to go!


So, leave me a “confession” comment on this blog post. It MUST be on this blog page, not on FB and you will be entered to win the “Jesus Calling Devotional Bible” !