It’s All Inside

I was thinking today about how much I have learned through all of the health issues I have been having. Some of the things I have learned I knew in my head, but now they are connected to my heart.  My health issues are all internal. From the esophagus swelling, to the acid reflux.. it’s all inside. It effects very little on the outside, except maybe my weight.. which I am totally comfortable with :)!

If someone didn’t know me, or didn’t ever watch me eat so slowly… they would never know I had a health issue. They would never know what I have been dealing with my whole life, they would never know about the 7 procedures that I have had, they would not know about the crazy cost of the medicine I am on, they would never know about the hard time  I have to finding food I can eat, they would never know about how going out to eat as a social function is seriously stressful for me.  My food choices are limited, even when I find food I can eat, it takes me FOREVER!! If I am not with good friends, I feel the need to explain my situation so it is not assumed that I am anorexic or something.

Generally, unless I tell people, they don’t know anything is wrong. When I do tell them, they still don’t really get it b/c on the outside.. I am fine. And, I am truly thankful that on the outside I am fine. God has protected me and kept me strong!!  I am believing that I am going to be healed.. for that healing to bring glory to God, I have to tell people what is wrong. I have to become a little vulnerable and open up. That’s not the norm for me. I don’t like telling people when something is wrong. But, God is working on the inside where people can’t see…

Hmmm… that makes me think. God is working on the inside of all of us.  My physical condition is a very good representation of what is going on spiritually with most people. On the outside, everything looks fine. In fact, it may even look great.  But on the inside, there are so many people that are miserable, lonely, depressed, far from God, bitter, angry, jealous and so many other things.  God is trying to do a work in their life. Do we notice? Do we see them? You may never know what people are dealing with. Only my close friends and family have known the depth of my health issues because I let them in.  I find comfort in their knowing and knowing they care for me.  Looking great on the outside is not going to matter if you never let anybody in. The most important person you need to let in is Jesus. He wants to change you from the inside out. What you are feeling matters to Him. Next, you can’t expect people to be there for you if you don’t open up to what is really going on inside. We have to quit acting like we have it all together and admit we are not perfect!!

Maybe you are the person that has come a long way and has a lot of things together. Others don’t know how far you have come in a lot of areas, unless you tell them. It’s all inside… so let others see. You could help someone that is struggling by taking the time to share what God has done in you.  Don’t judge people by what you see on the outside. You have no idea what is going on on the inside of their lives. Their real lives, not the nice little package they show to everyone.  True healing is not going to happen until we break down these walls and let people inside.


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