May 1st will be mine and Eric’s 13th anniversary! It is kind of sad that to most people that I talk to 13 years seems like a really long time to be married. Apparently, we have made if longer than most. A lot of people assume that we have had this fairy tale marriage and we just don’t understand their struggles with their spouses. This makes us both laugh, because even though right now we have a great marriage, does not mean it has always been that way. In fact, I think we have a great marriage because of all of the bad things we have been through together. Our marriage is sum of a lot of choices and a lot of hard work.
I saw a picture the other day of an older couple walking hand in hand and the caption had him asking about how they made it and so many others didn’t and her reply was “Because when things are broken we fix them instead of throwing them out.” Wow.. this is really the major problem. Everyone wants the great marriages they see in other people but they do not want to put the work in to get their own there. They think if they were married to a different person their marriage would be different. Such a lie of the enemy. I know at some point there are times things are just too broken to fix but as soon as it becomes difficult, we throw it out instead of trying to fix it. After 13 years, I can tell you that my husband is still the one. The only one for me. No matter how broken we get, I want to fix it. He wants to fix it. We have confidence in each other to know that we are never going to throw each other out. We are going to work through it.
I encourage you today, if something in your marriage is broken.. fix it. Get help. Here are a couple of things that could get you started on the right track today!
1.Pray for your spouse
2. Choose to love / Those butterfly feelings go away, that is not true love. True love is not so much as an emotion but a choice. A commitment.
3. Date Your Mate / Schedule a date, act like you did before you were married!
4. Be Careful who You Hang out with / Other people with healthy marriages is who you need to spend your time with. Not people who have a negative concept of marriage.
5. Change / The only person that you can change is you. So do it. Don’t come home angry. Dont’ nag. Start fixing, don’t wait on the other person to.
6. Get Counseling if you need it!!!
7. Be Aware / Stop taking the person closest to you for granted. Why is it you greet everyone else with a smile and hug but barely notice when your spouse walks in the room? This communicates to them that everyone in that room is more important than they are. Make an effort to make them feel the most important.
8. Marriage First / After your relationship with God, your marriage should be your top priority. It should come before any other relationship you have. You should put more work and effort in to it than you do anything else.
9. Spouse ahead of self / try putting your spouses needs ahead of your own. Do you ever actually even think about what small and big things you could do to make them happy?
10. Don’t take it for granted / I remember wanting so badly to be married, wanting to have a companion to do life with. I couldn’t imagine being alone. There are so many people that would love to be married to someone like your spouse.. don’t forget that.
Praying for your marriages, that you would do the work and God would bless it. Marriage is meant to be fulfilling. Don’t settle for an ok marriage. God didn’t make just an ok anything!