I have realized that it is not just in ministry that people feel lonely and isolated. In reality, most people that I talk to feel that way. They do not have many friends. Most people that feel that way also seem to have a difficult time making new friends. First of all, they tend to be very picky. They want to be friends with the pastor’s wife or the worship leader, but no one else in the church so they don’t have many friends. Second, they are always waiting for someone else to open the door to friendship. They are waiting on someone else to make the first move and soon develop the victim mentality because no one wants to be their friend.
As with every other relationship, real friendship takes some work. First of all, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. You have to be open to new friendships and in fact, you have to sometimes be the one to open the door to it. You may have to strike up the first conversation, you may have to invite someone out for coffee. Is there a chance you will get turned down? Sure there is! You can’t take the fact that people are very busy and trying to keep the relationships they do have going in tact for granted. But, that just means you leave yourself open to keep trying. You should also pray.. ask God to send you friends!!
Keeping yourself closed off and the door shut will be very uninviting to someone hoping to strike up a friendship. Open the door!! Be inviting!! It may be a little out of your comfort zone at first.. but meeting new people and building relationships is so worth it!
We usually have a tendency to be jealous and competitive with the people that do what we do. In my case, it would be other pastor’s wives and women in ministry. However, this is only keeping us from some of the best relationships in our lives! Some of my biggest “ah ha” moments come out of my friendships with other women that do what it is I do. Learning to really be “for” other people is one of the most rewarding things you can do. You see, you have to give what you need. So, if you need people to be “for” you, be “for” other people. If you need a great friend, start trying to be a great friend.
Relationships are always a 2 way street. There is taking and giving. No one wants to start a friendship with someone who they think just wants something from them. So, be a giver, even when it is not reciprocated. God sees, and He is faithful to give us what we need. So open the door today!!